Thursday, May 2, 2013

How to: Get What You Want

Since my last pillar article got so many views, I started thinking maybe I could offer you some advice on another topic, which most of us struggle with.

There are a lot of different aspects regarding the acquirement of something you want. Before starting, I'd like to broach the subject of "Needs and Wishes", because we have to know whether or not we need something or we wish to have something. These are two different things and each has a different "psychological", if you may, state you need to be in, in order to get what you need/want.
If you need something, it means you can't live without it. Correction.You can't survive without it. That means you can't cover your biological needs and not "Oh my God, mum! I can't live without the new iPhone!".
If you want something, you have less motivation, because the thing you want isn't vital to your survival. That means you face difficulties like lacking confidence and fear of failure. So how can you succeed?

Firstly, if you want something from somebody, then you need to seem alert and intimidating. That's how nature works. That means you need to dress the part. You have to look confident, meaning you need to work on your demeanor and appearance. Have a certain stance and wear something that screams "I have it all together". Even though it might seem vain, people do make snap judgements about you in a matter of seconds, so looking sharp makes a great first impression.
As far as the posture is concerned, you can either pose confidently- that means legs relaxed, as apart from one another as possible, the same applies to your arms- or mirror the other persons body language. I have spoken about this topic before so I'm going to put a link ( ) for you to view if you'd like.
Another decisive factor is speech. You need to speak as clearly as possible and imitate the sounds and vocabulary of your target. This will make easier to communicate and the other person will feel comfortable being around you, because you remind them of themselves.
Lastly, you need to be honest about your goals, but remember to know when "to hold 'em and when to fold 'em". By that I mean you need to find the perfect timing to voice your opinion, but you need to voice it sometime. If there is never a "good time" try to see when they are the calmest and then explain where you stand.