Friday, May 3, 2013

How To: Make The First Move

Taken from the web. All right reserved

Honestly, I was going to write about something more relaxed today. But then again, as I went to sleep, my brain wouldn't stop thinking. So after I created 5k scenarios in my head, this idea popped out.

It's really hard to be the first to initiate contact, even if you are just out to meet new people. That's even harder if you are "on the prowl" for a relationship. That's the reason I thought, I could be of some help. All of the things I'm about to explain are based on research I did. So you can rest assured!

The easiest thing about making the first move is going up to somebody and saying "hi". I say it's the easiest, because it takes a fraction of a second to do it. That means you can suck it up and near the person you want to talk to. If you don't think much while doing this, it's a piece of cake. You need to remember, though. You have to make eye contact before you approach. If the other person looks down, then that's your green light. If not, then you need to find someone who is more open to the possibility of talking to you.

The hardest part is the one that follows. How do you keep the conversation not awkward. I bet you want to make a good impression and this would foil your plans. So, firstly, make sure you introduce yourself. The person you have walked up to is going to want to know who they are speaking with. It might seem dumb, but it's helpful.

Secondly, the next tip is a cliche, but it is one for a reason. It has withstood the test of time. Talk about your surroundings or about the other person. By now your brain has melted from all the stress and it isn't in the mood to function. That's understandable. But you should think that the other person is trying to leave a good impression on you, too. By the same token, whatever you say will spark a conversation, so why not talk about the people in the room or the person in front of you? If you can't think of anything to say, this will get you about a minute of thinking time. And even if nothing comes to mind, listen carefully, because whatever they say can be used later.

Another great way to get to know somebody is to ask open-ended questions. Instead of "Do you like movies?", which sounds strange, ask "What kind of films do you enjoy?". That can be answered in a variety of ways, which can prove helpful for further dialog.

Furthermore, continue from were your "partner" has left off.  If you are talking about his/her pets, don't start asking if he/she likes Chinese food, it just sends the message that you aren't even listening to what they have to say, and this way you seem selfish and arrogant.

Lastly, you need to see how your partner reacts to your questions. If they seem uncomfortable or don't respond directly, find something else to converse about. That means you will eventually have to talk about yourself, like it or not. Remember this is not a police investigation, therefore your questions must not be invasive.


Bonus : Know what to avoid. Never talk about religion, politics, money, family problems, health problems, or sex with people you don't know incredibly well. You might say something offensive and then there is no turning back.